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Monday, February 25, 2013

Rumor: Next pope will be last according to doomsday 'prophecy'

12th century saint's writings are being interpreted as predicting the demise of the Roman Catholic Church and end of the world.

UNCONFIRMED: The next pope elected will be the last
Pope Benedict XVI's announcement of his resignation has been greeted with shock from many Catholics. And as the church's cardinals prepare to elect a new pontiff, NBC and the Daily Mail report that an old doomsday prophecy is making the rounds among some theologians one that predicts the downfall of the Vatican and possibly the world.
'Prophecy of the Popes'
Saint Malachy is an Irish saint who lived between 1094 and 1148 and served as the archbishop of Armagh. He is perhaps best known for supposedly penning an apocalyptic series of 112 phrases, which he claimed came to him in a vision and predicted the series of popes who would reign over the church and eventually preside over its downfall. The so-called "Prophecy of the Popes" has been pointed to by numerous doomsayers over the years in predicting catastrophe for the church.
Roughly translated from its original Latin, the Prophecy reads: "In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills [i.e. Rome] will be destroyed, and the terrible judge will judge his people. The End."
Peter the Roman
If "Peter the Roman" is to oversee the end of times, who is Peter the Roman? According to some, he could be one of the leading candidates to become pope. Ghanaian Cardinal Peter Turkson is a member of the Catholic administrative body, the Roman Curia, and could therefore be loosely described as Peter the Roman.
'Prophecy' may be forgery
Among the many problems with the Malachy's supposed prophecy is that he may have never written it at all. According numerous sources including the New Advent's Catholic Encyclopedia, there was no mention of Malachy's writings for more than 400 years from the time it was said to have been written and 1590 when Benedictine monk Arnold de Wyon published the "Prophecy of Popes." The silence about the writings from even Malachy's closest friends has led many scholars to conclude that the writings are forgeries, likely written by Wyon himself, and the Catholic Church has never embraced the writings as official doctrine.
Video: Watch an interview with the authors of a book on the 'Prophecy of Popes'

Thursday, February 7, 2013

A "perfect" plan

I have a plan. The plan will allow a few people to be eternally happy after the plan is fulfilled. These people are ones I have already decided to accept In the plan,  (The odds are I did not pick you. Too bad for you) I decided to allow my daughter to date a man. She, of course, has no vote on the issue. (Who does she think she is, God?) The man she dates kills her. I actually knew the man would kill her (I am all knowing, FYI). I decided it was best that he kill her because it was my will that he do so. Killing my daughter will allow my master plan to be fulfilled. No one actually understands my master plan or my will, but that is meaningless. I know my will. And even though my daughter had to die, she should be happy that she got to be part of my plan. Ironically she is not happy that she was killed since she cried about being killed. (Ingrate)  And even though I will not tell anyone why it was important that my daughter be killed, I guarantee to everyone it really was important. Really, really important. And if you believe my story, you get to be eternally happy. Actually, I finally decided to allow other people to explain my motives. And you should believe them too. After all  they are talking about ME. So, that means they must be telling the truth. Anyway, I was describing why people get to go to eternal happiness. Well, actually not everyone. Just the people who read my story and believe I was telling the truth. The ones who do not read my story or disbelieve my story will NEVER, EVER, EVER get to be eternally happy In fact, they will be eternally unhappy. (Trust me, it is for the best)

Now you might think I am contradicting myself. Previously, I stated I had pre-selected the people who get eternal happiness. And that is true. The only people who will believe my story are the ones I pre-selected for eternal happiness. I realize this is difficult to accept. You must take my word for it. And if I pre-selected you, naturally, you will take my word for it. 

Now, what everyone knows but no one will discuss in any serious manner is that I could have decided on any other course of action to allow people to be eternally happy. I could have decided to allow everyone to be eternally happy without anyone getting killed. (I have that power) But that is just silly. Why would I do that? Death really makes me happy. I mean really, really happy. I am not sure why. I think it has something to do with the smell of death. I really love the smell of flesh being roasted. (If that sounds odd to you, you can assume you are not one of the people I have pre-selected)

Now what is really ironic is that I also created the man who would kill my daughter. I knew before I created him that he would kill my daughter, however, I was not concerned about that. What I am concerned with is that he cut off part of his penis. It is very, very important to me that he cut off part of his penis. Now, what is confusing to some people (heretics) is that I also had the ability to create all people without the part of the penis that I want cut off. They had the audacity to ask why I did not create people without the offending penis part!!!! Obviously, I wanted people to experience the joy of cutting off body parts to know me better. (I really like people cutting off parts of their body, just in case it is not obvious) Once I asked someone to accumulate large numbers of severed penis parts. I am not sure why I did not ask that he roast them as well. Oh well, perhaps, next time. 

Anyway, all I ask is that people cut off parts of their penis and believe me when I say my daughter deserved to be killed. I really don't know why some people think that is asking too much. I hate people like that. They deserve to roast for all eternity. After all, I do enjoy the smell of roasting flesh. It is like an eternal never ending sacrifice to me.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

An apologist discusses where Cain get his wife.

Apologetics 101: Evidence Supports a Biblical Young Earth–Answers some common questions, including

Where did Cain get his wife?

Read more:

Why would you assume anyone would agree to marry Cain? He was the first murderer. Supposedly, the only people who exist are the offspring of Adam and Eve. Cain has been marked by god. Can you really imagine that anyone existing at that point in time would agree to marry Cain?

Wait a minute. I know what happened. According to Mosaic Law, “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives” (Deuteronomy 22:28–29)
Obviously, Cain raped one of his sisters, in full view of others, and then paid off his parents.
God truly thinks of everything. For the man of course. He obviously does not give a rip about the woman.

As an aside, the verse states "if they are discovered". So, a rape has no ramifications if the rape is not discovered? Isn't god all knowing and omnipresent? Does not that mean that every rape has been discovered? How could anyone hide a rape from an all knowing, omnipresent deity?