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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Great lines and clips from movies and TV

From The Princess Bride:

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

From Die Hard:

Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

From the Blues Brothers:

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

From James Bond Movies:
Bond: Who are you?
Pussy: My name is Pussy Galore.
Bond: (pauses) I must be dreaming

"Half of everything is luck" - 006, "And the other half?" - Bond, "Fate" - 006.

"The distance between insanity and genius is merely success" - Elliot Carver.

Roger Moore skiing off a mountain

Moonraker Bond 007 Parachute Scene

From Seinfeld:

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl:

Elizabeth: Wait! You have to take me to shore. According to the Code of the Order of the Brethren...
Barbossa: First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner .

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword]
Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

Barbossa: [after Jack show up alive after leaving him on the island a second time] Its not possible
Jack Sparrow: Not Probable
Will Turner: Jack. Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for it just like you promised.
Jack Sparrow: [pauses and thinks] So we are all men of our word really. Except for Elizabeth who is in fact a woman.

From the Pink Panther movies:

Does Your Dog Bite?

How was I to know the bank was being robbed?

Pink Panther Kato

Monty Python:

Saturday Night Live:

I need more cowbell

Jane, you miserable slut

Livin In A Van Down By The River - Matt Foley Motivational Speaker

Blazing Saddles:

Pledge to Hedley Lamarr

blazing saddles quicksand scene

Jeff Dunham - Arguing with Myself - Walter

Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist 

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