Keeping kids in line

2 Kings 2:23-24

New International Version (NIV)

²³ From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road,

some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said.

“Get out of here, baldy!” ²⁴ He turned around, looked at them and called down

a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods

and mauled forty-two of the boys.

We've all been there. You're walking along, minding your own business, when a gang of cocky, young whippersnappers start hurling abuse at you. Most of us would just keep walking, or maybe, yell some insults back or flip them the bird. Elisha, however, decides to take it one step further. Invoking the name of God, he summons some bad ass bears to come and kill them.

Christians are constantly asking for prayer in schools to help get today's kids in line, but I beg to differ. We need bears in schools. If every teacher had the power to summon a pair of child-maiming grizzly avengers, you can bet that schoolchildren nowadays would be the most well-behaved, polite children, ever. It's a simple choice: listen to the biology lesson, or get first-hand knowledge of the digestive system of Ursus horribilis.