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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Reading the bible for spiritual advice

I am often told by Christians that I should read the bible for its spiritually uplifting messages. I decided to take their advice today and have pulled some passages out for review.

“Has my master sent me only to your master and to you to speak these words, and not to the men who sit on the wall, doomed to eat their own dung and drink their own urine with you?”
–Isaiah 36:12

"Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. While all the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread.” Then the Lord said, “This is how Israel will eat defiled bread in the Gentile lands to which I will banish them!”
Then I said, “O Sovereign Lord, must I be defiled by using human dung? For I have never been defiled before. From the time I was a child until now I have never eaten any animal that died of sickness or was killed by other animals. I have never eaten any meat forbidden by the law.”
“All right,” the Lord said. “You may bake your bread with cow dung instead of human dung.”
–Ezekiel 4:12-15

"Each of you must have a spade as part of your equipment. Whenever you relieve yourself, dig a hole with the spade and cover the excrement. The camp must be holy, for the Lord your God moves around in your camp to protect you and to defeat your enemies. He must not see any shameful thing among you, or he will turn away from you."
–Deuteronomy 23:13-14

"Listen to me and make up your minds to honor my name,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “or I will bring a terrible curse against you. I will curse even the blessings you receive. Indeed, I have already cursed them, because you have not taken my warning to heart. I will punish your descendants and splatter your faces with the manure from your festival sacrifices, and I will throw you on the manure pile."
–Malachi 2:2-3

Strangely, I am not feeling any more spiritual now than I was before. I am actually feeling somewhat nauseous.

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